THEN: 40 Years ago, May 8, 1976, wedding of Poppy & Ajay in New Delhi, India.

Left: Ajay’s Mom, Poppy’s Mom; Right: Ajay’s Dad

 

NOW: One Year ago, November 28, 2015, wedding of Poppy & Ajay’s son Arjun with Rachna in Orlando, FL, USA. Left: Poppy & Ajay’s daughter Padmini

 

We got married in New Delhi on May 8, 1976 soon after graduation. This location allowed us to get blessings from Ajay’s grandfather who could not have traveled to Raipur, Poppy’s hometown. So her family (mom, brother, and two sisters) traveled to Delhi. After the wedding, we went to the shrine of Goddess Vaishno Devi in Himalayas to take her blessings. Then we went for our honeymoon in Kashmir followed by a trip to Poppy’s hometown Raipur where her family organized a wedding reception. Finally by the end of May 1976, we reached Mumbai (then Bombay) to start our jobs on June 1, 1976.

 

Life in Bombay was rough especially to start with. We had to search for an apartment and set up a home while commuting in the monsoon season. Poppy was working for SICOM (State Industrial and Investment Corporation of Maharashtra) in the Project Appraisal Department and Ajay was working in the Gabriel (Anand Group) Marketing Department. We first rented an apartment in Thane (West), then bought an apartment in Mulund (East) and finally moved to Cuffe parade for the last three years of a 6-year stay in Bombay until 1982. 

 

We had talked about doing Ph.D. in Marketing even before we left IIMA. But somehow the life got very hectic in Bombay. There were loans to be paid back and other family obligations, which were to be met. One fine day in 1981, we said now or never and sent out our applications for Ph.D. to schools in USA including the Kellogg Graduate School of Management at Northwestern University (NWU) to learn from the Guru himself – Dr. Philip Kotler.

 

Ajay heard back from NWU receiving a full tuition scholarship and fellowship stipend and Poppy did not hear back anything – nothing at all. Anyway we landed in Evanston, IL, home of NWU and went to meet Dr. Kotler. To Poppy’s surprise and disappointment, she learned that her application for admission to the Ph.D. program was incomplete because NWU did not receive her TOEFL scores from Princeton. Dr. Kotler reviewed the application and offered admission on the spot. But for a tuition scholarship & fellowship stipend she needed to wait for a year. So that first year in USA, while Ajay formally started taking Ph.D. program classes, Poppy got the most wonderful opportunity to work with Dr. Kotler assisting him in the research for his famous textbook, organizing his papers etc. 

 

Next year, 1983, Poppy also formally joined the Ph.D. program. Ajay finished his Ph.D. (with a thesis in quant area) and accepted a job offer from the Wharton school of the University of Pennsylvania, UPENN, in 1986. Poppy finished her Ph.D. in 1987 with her dissertation thesis in Behavioral/International area and joined the University of Delaware, UD, the same year.

 

1986 was a very special year of our lives. The Almighty God blessed us with two adorable children. Our daughter, Padmini (Mini) was born on January 15, 1986, in Evanston, IL and our son Arjun (Raju) was born on December 26, 1986, in Philadelphia, PA. Both deliveries were C-sections, the first one an emergency C-section, and the second a semi-emergency. Ajay’s mom came from India for a short time to help with Mini and Poppy’s sister and brother-in-law came to help with Raju and Mini. And then, it was just the two of us trying to manage two new jobs and two infants. There were many sleepless nights not because we had to change diapers and feed babies but also because many a times we just wanted to see them as they slept and see them smile during their sleep.

 

We bought a single family home in Newark, DE, home of UD, and for the next four years, 1987-1991, Ajay commuted 100 miles a day, 5 days a week to the Wharton School. It was not easy! The University of Delaware wanted to hire Ajay from the beginning but a suitable opportunity came with a new Dean who hired Ajay to build the MBA program at UD. So, Ajay moved to UD in 1991. Ajay was tenured in 1993 and Poppy was tenured in 1994. 

 

The same year (1994) Poppy had to undergo a radical hysterectomy but thank God it was benign. We continued teaching, research and service at UD while kids were growing up fast. They did well in studies and extra-curricular activities. Mini earned the Gold Award, the highest honor in Girls Scouts and Raju earned the Eagle Scout Award, the highest honor in Boy Scouts. Both kids also did several years of Kenpo Karate. Mini earned a 3rd degree Black belt and Raju earned a 2nd degree Black belt. We also wanted them to have an exposure to the Indian culture, so both kids can dance to the tunes of Bollywood and folk music. Mini’s dance training started at the age of 2&1/2 years and she learned to dance Ballet, Jazz & Tap, Hip Hop as well as the North Indian classical dance Kathak and South Indian classical dance Bharat Natyam. Raju is an avid fan of basketball and he plays as well as coaches.

 

So the time was flying by! We made as many trips to India as we could --- 1989, 1995, 1997, 2000, and 2001. Ajay was promoted to the rank of Full Professor in 1999, and Poppy was promoted to the rank of Full Professor in 2000. She has the distinction of being the First Female Faculty member to be promoted to the rank of Full Professor in the history of the Lerner College of Business and Economics, UD. Our work, namely the international conferences and collaborations plus personal travels took us around the world. We have visited more than 100 countries and unique travel destinations until date and have published as many research papers. We have received several awards for teaching, research, and mentorship.

 

Now, when you do not want to neglect either your career or your family, something else gets neglected. And in Poppy’s case, it was her health. We simply had made bad choices of doctors, who misguided us. Poppy kept going back to the family doctor with complaints of chest pain and he kept ignoring it saying that it is muscle pain. Finally, her cardiologist saved her life by finding very extensive blockages in the arteries of her heart. Poppy had to undergo a quadruple bypass heart surgery in February, 2002. 

 

This was followed by a series of medical problems one after another and as a result she couldn’t go back to teach. Further misguidance by local physicians led to many additional medical problems. Between February 2002, and September 2009, Poppy had to undergo treatment for frozen shoulders, numerous laser eye surgeries and injections in the eyes, and was hospitalized several times – in April 2005 when she was involved in a near fatal car accident, in October 2007 for carotid surgery, in December 2007 for a fall from the stairs injuring her head, and in 2009 for pancreas and gallbladder surgery. But the worst was yet to come. 

 

In March 2013, Poppy was hospitalized for administration of a cough medication through IV, which she could not tolerate and had severe throat discomfort. She had a new cardiologist who misdiagnosed it as a heart problem. She underwent two angiograms and even a heart biopsy in a 24 hour period. They could not find anything wrong with her heart but the dye in the angiograms completely destroyed her kidneys. She was kept in cardiac ICU for nearly a month. She finally managed to get discharged and return home but now to stay alive she needs to do dialysis for 10 to 12 hours a day for the rest of her life!

 

How did we go along with life despite such severe medical problems? Poppy’s Mantra to stay fit in life has been “FIT” that is Family – Intellectual Work – Travel. 

 

The kids have done extremely well in their respective fields. Both graduated from their school, Caravel Academy as Class Valedictorians. Raju was selected as the Presidential Scholar, the highest honor awarded to one male and one female student in each state by the President of the United States. After graduating from high school, Mini joined the Medical scholars Program (with Jefferson Medical College in Philadelphia) at UD. Raju received early admission at Harvard University. Mini worked for three years in Cancer and Cardiovascular Research Lab before joining Jefferson Medical College. Upon graduation from Harvard with highest honors in Physics, Raju was accepted in the most prestigious Health, Science and Technology, HST Program jointly offered by Harvard and MIT. He completed his Ph.D. in Bioinformatics in 2015. Currently he is working as a Research Associate in the Bioinformatics Lab at the Harvard Medical School. Mini is just about finishing her rotations and would be receiving her MD degree in May 2017.

 

So, we have coped up with the medical problems through the positive energy generated by the Family (kids) component of our Mantra, our 100+ intellectual research publications and our travel around the world to more than 100 countries. 

 

Our kids think (and truly so) that mom and dad are exact opposite of each other – North and South poles. So for Mom’s 60th birthday, we went all the way to Prudhoe Bay where Mom dipped her feet in the freezing waters of Arctic Ocean. For Dad’s 60th birthday, the choice was obvious – to go to Antarctica and walk on a floating glacier with penguins. And we did exactly that in December 2012.

 

We made three more trips to India. In July 2010, we went to the Mata Vaishno Devi shrine. This was to fulfil Mini’s “mannat” for her being accepted at the Jefferson Medical College. In 2011, we travelled all over India (about 40 cities) during January to August on Fulbright Fellowship. In January 2012, we took a group of UD MBA students for Study Abroad in India.

 

Then in 2015, Poppy took a bold step. She got clearance from her medical care team and returned to work after being on long term disability/medical leave for nearly 14 years! Everyone at work tells her that her case is unprecedented!

 

We miss families in India. Nobody from our family wanted to come to the fast paced and stressful life style of USA. But we have wonderful friends who are like our family. Now the Manrai family is growing. Our son Raju married Rachna Mathur on November 28, 2015 in Orlando, FL. Rachna, now Rachna Manrai is a tax attorney and works for Earnest and Young in Boston. 

 

So our 40-year journey has been full of Adventures, Blessings, and Challenges. Now here is the best news to conclude ABC or our 40-year journey. We are going to be Grand Parents soon. Rachna and Raju are expecting and the Grand Baby Manrai is expected to arrive in middle of April 2017. We can hardly wait for this BLESSING! Yehhh!

 

It’s with deep sadness that we inform you that Dr. Lalita (Poppy) Manrai, passed away on September 7, 2018 afternoon.